Silakhuyo: If I Were a Boy

This short piece is written as I recall a few experiences of my struggle with gender roles--which are both evident from childhood up to present.

I remember one time, I opened up during our counselling sessions, led by a nun. I told her my troubles of balancing my family and career. And what she told me was, I was being “too much”, and selfish. Then I wondered, if I were a boy, would she tell me the same?

When I was turning 18, I wanted to learn how to drive I enrolled in a driving school, attended my classes and practiced with the instructors. Before the school ended, I decided to ask help from my uncle to practice with me. He then laughed and he told me, “Why learn how to drive?” Then I wondered, if I were a boy, would he still ask me?

I have always dreamt of being independent and to live on my own. My career gave me this opportunity, and suddenly I had a reason to move out. I told my mother about this, and she said, “What about me??” So I answered, “If I get married, would I still not be allowed to move out?” In return, she said, “That’s different.” So I wondered, if I were a boy, would I be questioned for choosing myself?

Isinulat ni Aimee