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Sincerely, Amarela (September Issue)



The season of fall — when the day becomes shorter and the nights become cooler. This moment brings memories back with the faint light and cool breeze it brings. It is the perfect season to sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and reminisce. What does fall bring to you?


Sincerely, Amarela



 

Golden: the first letter to myself

Written by: golden gelato

Artwork by: Jill A.


how can we explain a once small twinkle

which now burns red, passionate, majestic?

shall we call it a cosmic miracle

or say it’s some kind of unknown magic?


no, my dear, it was anything but that.

it was years and years endured in dark space,

changing, becoming, perhaps falling flat,

uncertain of its true and rightful place.


but look now at the planets it commands.

witness a galaxy brought into life.

see power so strong, absence it withstands,

that even the moon is drunk on its light.


and while it pales still, small and lackluster

against greater stars, if we should compare,

while centuries more it has to conquer

darling, mustn’t we all begin somewhere?


p.s.

the lucky ones may find it in their hearts

to know we are suns, to believe someday

that we are worth loving, each nook and part

whether we’re shining or just on our way.

 

step out

Written by: golden gelato

Artwork by: Jill A.


as pebbles rest

beneath my patterned soles,

noon glows amber

and hope is worn by the trees

like a coat of warmth.


the earth bathes

in a crystal haze;

the sky basks

in the newness of midday.


suddenly (though inevitably),

a streak of light floods my eyes

and for the slightest moment,

I see

the universe as it is—


all at once

a mystery hidden

behind the fall of dust,

but a gift,

shining

and so gloriously sunlit.


 

To the Core

Written by: golden gelato

Artwork by:


White candles glow

Along a graveled path

Melting glass cages and

Warming porcelain hearts

As I try and try

To steady my shaking hands


Liquid heat flows

And at once my tongue is lost

No painful gasps and

No bloody sighs

No sound in silence even as

The white glowing candles

Marry and scald my flesh


Love still grows

In the shy golden blaze

But invisibly veiled behind

The white candles’ glow:

Weak matches and

Torched fingers (mine)

Burning quietly for beauty’s sake


Then secrets spill

Blurry memories remind me

White candles can glow

Too warm and

Too fast—

Scarred and trembling my hands

Meet in the middle of my heart

And my ghostly whispers

Echo prayers through the dark


Do I put out these flames

And forever live cold

Or do I fan this fire

Until I am ash in its wake


 

Trigger Warning: The following piece contains mentions of Sexual Harassment and Rape.

I'm there again

Written by: Kissa R.

Artwork by: Kissa R.


I’m on my bed in a room

My breaths are even and I close my eyes hoping to fall asleep soon

The moment I close my eyes I’m in the Room

I know it’s night right now but I look out the window and it’s late afternoon

My skin feels like a costume

I feel their hands on me and it does not make me swoon

It makes me want to cry and scream and vomit and just forget what happened in this room

I scream when I wake up and I see that I am no longer in that Room


I smell the sterile alcohol and remember that I am in a hospital

They tell me that I am safe and they can no longer hurt me at all

But every time I close my eyes I am in that room again like I never left at all

I have never felt so small, it makes me want to curl up into a ball



They looked soft and innocent, who knew they could do this

I just thought it would be a kiss

But they wanted me to feel a certain type of bliss


But I did not feel that at all

Thinking what happened in my Room makes me bawl

They said “she should take it as a compliment”, “well she was asking for it” and it made me feel like a doll

I close my eyes again and see myself walking in the hall


I am back in that room again and I feel their hands on me

Touching me where I don’t want it to be

I want to scream but they gagged me

Then guess what, they raped me



I never left that Room

Even though I moved and go to a different school

I am still in that Room

I have nightmares of what happened in the Room

I scream when I wake up thinking they’re here but they’re not so I throw up in my bathroom

I am in a different place, in a different room

But whenever I close my eyes I’m still in that Room


And I go through this process again, and again and again


 

Memories of Home

Written by: Blue Star

Artwork by: Blue Moon & Sophia P.


What is home?

For most, it is a four-wall structure

Where one resides permanently

And seeks comfort and shelter.


But to me,

It is more than just a four-letter word

That is synonymous to the term “house”

Home is something more than that


Home

Is a room full of chairs, books, and lockers


Where all you would hear is hustle and bustle

Of classmates trying to finish a paper


Home

Is the company of my best friends

As we share our favorite stories and inside jokes

Over our favorite cafeteria meals


Home

Is walking down the busy hallway

With the sight of students walking in different directions

Trying to make it back to their classrooms on time


Home

Is where the bell rings at a certain time of day

Which is a subtle reminder that it is time to leave

And that we have made it through another day


Time has passed

And things have greatly changed

All I have now are memories of home

Etched in my heart and are there to stay


For as long as

The sun continues to shine

I will keep dreaming

Of the day I come home again.

 

My Wishful Night

Artwork by: Anonymous


Just like a pack of wolves that share the night together, we shared our dreams with one another. Never scared but rather fazed of the dark night, because with the moon comes this bright dazzling light.

 

Tears

Written by: Written Amarela Piece (WAP)

Artwork by: Sophia P.



If only I held on.

so I would never have to say,

“I thought you were the one”

… until you went away.


Just like the moon,

My thoughts orbited around you

Your words, playing like a tune

Leaving me feeling blue


All the nights I cried,

I wish I could forget.

Promises that died,

The dreams that I regret.


I am worthless.

I wish I never believed,

You were my only purpose,

You would never leave.


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